epiphany

Husband and I had dinner last night with some friends that were instrumental in our reconnecting and eventually marrying. Which got me thinking about how it all happened.

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I went to the homeschool prom my senior year, even though I attended a private school. A good friend, who is more like a brother to me, asked me to go with him and I knew it would be more fun than going solo to my own high school's prom. 

A friend of mine from school, Audrey, was also invited to the homeschool prom and I found out she was going with Kenny, whom I knew from church but had not seen in a few years. We decided it would be fun to meet up and hang out after prom.  We snuck into a movie theater to see Spiderman and then went to IHOP.

When our evening was done, the guys dropped Audrey and I off at my house for a sleepover.  Before leaving, Kenny handed Audrey an invitation to his graduation.  I said goodbye, and my heart silently said "forever."  It had been fluttering all night but there was no mention of hanging out again and I couldn't tell if he had any interest in me at all.  I clung to the name card that read "Kenneth Graham Wright" all night long and prayed God heard my heart.

A week later, Kenny called and my heart skipped a thousand beats!  He asked if I wanted to see a movie with him and some friends, aka first date.  A week after that we went to a graduation party for a mutual friend, aka second date.  Kenny drove me home that night, turned his car off in front of my house, looked at me and asked the Question that started it all. "Where do you want this relationship to go?"

My heart stopped. We were in a relationship?!?  I mean, I'm a girl and of course had already imagined us rocking our grandchildren on the front porch of our home, built by Kenny, someday. I didn't think guys moved that fast! But as I've said before, I instantly fell in love with his father's heart and knew I wanted to be his bride. We both poured out our hearts that night and agreed we were in this for marriage.

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I was replaying these events in my mind last night on the drive home after dinner.  I asked Husband what made him ask the Question on that special night almost ten years ago. Being a man of few words, his answer was simple. "Because I knew what I wanted... a wife and children."  I smiled and teased that he had previously mentioned wishing he had been a pilot in the military when he was younger. But he reaffirmed that that desire was only if he knew having a family was out of the question.

I wonder if God purposely kept me from discussing this with Husband until now because of the impact it would have on me.  

My Epiphany: God put a desire in both of our hearts at a young age to marry and have a family. After two dates, we both knew we wanted to start that family with each other.  We both fell in love with the parental instincts we saw in each other. So although I do not know what it will look like, I KNOW that God will give us the desires of our hearts and bless us with children someday.  

"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, 

it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."

Matthew 18:19

The surgeries are over and my uterus is free of the alien and all other structural abnormalities that were previously hindering me from conceiving. I am approaching a season of true waiting on the Lord.  Up until now, I blamed my infertility on physical obstructions. But the Lord has brought healing in that area and we are anxiously anticipating that same Hand to bring new life... in His perfect timing.  I am clinging to this verse now more than ever, knowing Husband and I have been in complete agreement from the very beginning.

humbled by His faithfulness and love,

sarah jane