a confirmation... times five

I was at a crossroads. My doctor said I could either take Clomid or have wedge resection surgery on my ovary.  Both would have the same effect… ovulation.  It was completely up to me.

Me.

An emotional, frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, impatient, little girl who knew nothing about either one.

I left the doctor’s office with a date for surgery scheduled, knowing I could cancel the appointment if I chose the other route. 

I began the long drive home and my mind was filled with fears, concerns, and disbelief.  I knew I could not make this decision on my own.

Enter:  God.

God… the One who fearfully and wonderfully made me.  psalm 139:14

God… the One who promises to fulfill my heart’s desire.  psalm 20:4

God… the One who gives strength to the brokenhearted and binds up my wounds.  psalm 147:3

God… the One who heals all my diseases.  psalm 103:3

God.

I realized I don’t have to make this decision on my own.  He will show me the way with His confirming voice.  (isaiah 30:21)

So I began to seek the counsel of many as His Word instructs me to do. They asked if I had made a list of pros and cons, but even that scared me because I was already leaning one direction in my heart and knew it would be biased.  But I made the list anyway, knowing it was at least a place to start.

Clomid – pros

·       inexpensive

·       not invasive

·       worked for my mom, six times

·       would probably regulate my cycles

Clomid – cons

·       synthetic hormone

·       side effects:  moodiness, hot flashes

·       if it doesn’t work in three months it probably won't work at all

·       puts a “band aid” on the real issue

·       only 30% effective

surgery – pros

·       doctor can see everything we’re working with

·       doctor can perform other procedures at same time (D&C, remove small alien friends, look for endometriosis, get closer look at the alien)

·       laparoscopic  (which means quick recovery)

·       addresses the real issue, and is a more permanent fix

·       66% effective

surgery – cons

·       invasive

·       chance of pelvic adhesions (scar tissue)

Okay so now what?  I still didn’t have a clear answer as to which route to take. It seemed the first few people I called thought Clomid was the better route, their main argument being that it worked for my mom. But so what if it worked for my mom, six times… I am not my mom, and our reproductive systems are totally different.  I just had no peace. Even thinking about it upset my stomach. And I knew the one thing God has been so faithful and consistent to give me through this whole journey is His peace.

So I talked with my mother-in-law and she reassured me that He will confirm… keep researching! I found a website that explained NaPro Technology and their approach to surgery.  This approach was developed by Dr. Hilgers.  He found a way to perform surgery using different techniques that would prevent scar tissue.  He is most concerned with preserving a woman’s fertility and the body’s amazing ability to carry life.  Dr. Hilgers is interested in curing the reproductive system and not in controlling fertility. He never tries to play God.  The doctor I’ve been seeing in Austin completed his four years of Fellowship under Dr. Hilgers.  He would know and be well trained in these techniques. (confirmation #1)

I feel like many OB/GYN’s are only interested in the end result: a baby.  They seem content with rushing into in vitro or hysterectomies without ruling out all other options first. I know that God alone opens and closes the womb. In the meantime, I want to do what I can to make sure my plumbing is working properly and that the alien is watched closely... he may come in peace, but he may not take over!

I continued clicking on links, excited about research for the first time in my life.  I found a random website from Google called WorldWide Health that had an article about ovarian wedge resection.  As I started reading, I felt like this was going to be one more article about Clomid. But as I read closer, I noticed it discussed the negatives about it. “Clomid has been linked by some to a risk for miscarriage or birth defects, and while it often causes ovulation, it does not always cause pregnancy. Clomid is anti-estrogenic, therefore, it tends to "dry up" the cervical mucus.”  I was hooked. (confirmation #2) 

I kept reading.

It mentioned that surgery was the “tried and true method” for curing polycystic ovaries until Clomid was introduced. The reason why it fell out of favor was because of scar tissue building up after surgery. But I had just read about NaPro Technology, the surgical technique my doctor was trained in that reduced, even eliminated, scar tissue.  (confirmation #3)

I kept reading.

In a study, 134 patients had this surgery from a NaPro trained surgeon.

121 became pregnant… that’s right 90%! 

5 (count them… on one hand… five!) had pelvic adhesions.  This is not a percentage… it’s actual women.

I jumped for joy at these statistics and told my husband I was sold. This was my answer. (confirmation #4)

Moments later I received this text from my mother-in-law. “Research. Pray. Something will jump out and make you excited and shout yes!!! Go with that. God hasn’t brought you this far to go silent.”

WOW! (confirmation #5)

That’s the God I serve! I was humbled and awed that the God who created this universe cares enough about me to confirm His will in so many ways. 

Psalm 34 has been on my heart and mind ever since… “oh taste and see that the LORD is good!”

humbled by His faithfulness and love,

sarah jane